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Freak Out

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I kind of freaked out this morning.  See, I got my court citation to finalize the adoption and…well…the date was NOT the 10th of August, as my lawyer promised me it would be.  Instead, it said the 21st of September.

Panic.  My heart started racing.  Tears were about to flood out.  I was in a room with a bunch of people, had to drive some to the taxi station, Caleb was right next to me…and it was a friend who pointed out the September date, as I was showing her the citation.  All I wanted to do was just run – get out of there – and run.  But I couldn’t just then.  Finished what I had promised to do, came home, got Caleb breakfast, left the room and let the freak out reach its full potential (safely out of sight and hearing of my little man who has been anxiously counting down the days to next Wednesday.)

What was that Psalm I had read this morning…the verse that had stuck with me the most from it?  27:14  “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”  I started repeating that over and over…  I know that my freak out may seem dramatic at face value.  The thing is this though, the tiniest things having to do with the adoption these days, they push me over the edge.  I feel as if I’m just a toothpick that can be flicked around.  I have given my all into this journey with Caleb’s adoption and I am about at the end of what more I can take, in terms of things going wrong etc…  I wish I wasn’t.   Honestly.  I wish I could be stoic and strong at this point but instead I feel like I’m just slumped over in the arms of Jesus.  Which, you know actually, highlights His strength and His power and I would have it no other way really…  What He has done with Caleb and I, starting 7 years ago (yesterday, actually!) is completely Him.  So I’d rather this chapter of our journey end with that same statement as well – completely Him.

I was short of breath and on the verge of tears, though, as I prayed about what to do.  Was it too early to call the lawyer?  8:30am – oh, who cares, he’s charging me an arm and a leg for his services so I don’t care if he isn’t up yet.  Thankfully he answered, not only the phone, but also the reason as to why I received the citation for this date at the end of September.  “Kelsey, they had assigned you this date already.  I had to change it to the 10th.  It was a mistake that you received this citation for September.  Don’t worry, you’re going on the 10th of Aug., you just haven’t received the citation for that date yet. ”

Annnnd with that, Kelsey began breathing normally again.

On a fun note, 1 suitcase if officially (almost) ready to head off to the States.  As you can see, just a few more things need to be shoved in.  And no, I don’t usually pack my suitcases 2 months in advance.  It’s just that a woman is here in Marghita (from the Denver area) and she will take back this suitcase and pass it off to my brother and his wife (they live in Denver) who will take it to my parents when the whole family (except team Romania and team Zambia) goes on vacation together next weekend in Wisconsin.  Mom and Dad are driving to the cabin so they’ll just throw it in the car and take it back to their house, to wait for Caleb and I!  So, winter jackets, clothes, boots, (and the beginnings of getting my ‘in the States for 5 months’ Swedish coffee supply to my parents’ house) are now checked off the list!




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