Beginnings at Popesti Orphanage November 5, 2009

Starting last Thursday we began group time with the children and youth at the State run institution for orphans in the small town of Popesti.   This place also serves as a boarding school for children who come from extremely impoverished families.  So, a handful of the kids there occasionally go home on weekends as well as on school holidays.

Groups will run each Wednesday (smaller children) and Thursday (youth) afternoons.  We were meant to begin last Wednesday but I was caught up in Oradea with a few setbacks in regards to applying for residency.  Because it costs quite a bit in petrol to drive to Oradea, and a solid few hours to get there and back, you always hope that what you need to have done CAN get done in 1 trip (to save $) and in time to get back for whatever the afternoon holds!  For me, this meant getting back to Marghita in time to head to Popesti last Wednesday.  Unfortunately we ran into some road blocks, I should be used to this by now I guess, at the immigration police and were unable to make it back in time.  Arrrggghhh!

So, yesterday we began with the younger children for the first time.  This afternoon, Thursday, we will have the 2nd meeting with the youth.  The first group times for all the children were massive birthday celebrations counting back to JUNE!  That’s right, June!  The kids haven’t had their birthday celebrations yet or received their gifts.  I went to work baking up a storm in my apartment and have made enough cakes over last week and this week to fill my cake making quota for the year, I think : )  We brought the cakes just baked and appropriate whipped cream and candies for each birthday boy/girl to decorate their cake to their liking!  I was especially moved by the young men during their birthday-group time last Thursday.  (We split the group times for the youth into girls, first, and then boys, second.)  They really aren’t “youth” per say.  Well, some of them are.  About half of the boy group are sitting in their early 20’s but are functioning at a level of about a 5th-6th grader.  On the other hand, their anger/rage goes way beyond their years.  The other youth boys are your typical teenage boys; they put up hard exteriors but when they smile you see how desperate they are for love and healing.  Anyhow, the boys celebrating their birthdays last week…whew…they were so overwhelmed with the cake, decorating it, the candles, us singing to them and the gifts they received.  One of them repeatedly commented “I never expected this.  Oh my!  I never ever expected something like this in my life!” 

Can you imagine? 

Yesterday, as I mentioned before, was the first meeting with the young children.  Those of you who I have spoken with, in anticipation for their group beginning, know that I have repeatedly said that working with them will definitely be more difficult than with the Casa Alba children.  The behavioral issues, the same.  The emotional issues, the same.  What I knew would probably be different would be the way in which their anger is expressed…much, much rougher.  This turned out to be true yesterday.  How they express their anger and hurt is much rougher and hurtful and had I not already had 5 years experience with disrespect in all shapes and sizes at Casa Alba orphanage I probably wouldn’t want to return to the group next week.  But, in God’s awesomeness, He has been using the past 5 years as an incredible schooling for what I was introduced to yesterday.  So, I left thinking “Hey, that wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been!  I can’t wait for next week!”  That’s the honest truth!  The words they use (oh MY WORD) is like garbage coming out of their mouths and they use these words for any type of frustration that confronts them.  I’m not even going to go into what they said – I’m sure you can imagine.  Hitting, pushing and threatening to “beat you up later!” (and they really mean that) was seen just as often as our motions to the worship songs yesterday.  Kind of funny if you think about it.

Throughout the 5 years at Casa Alba orphanage we also went through a TON of training on reactive attachment disorder syndrome, as well as, Love and Logic parenting.  Understanding why the kids act the way they do, how their brain functions and doesn’t function like a “normal” child, and how to effectively love and raise them to grow through this into healing has been a part of my weekly life at CA as much as changing diapers!  Yesterday I really pulled out every bit of what I’ve learned on these kids.  It took a lot of work and patience along with this prayer…(which I think I prayed about every other second yesterday) “Lord, pour Your peace into this child’s heart right now.”  BUT, it WORKED!  Dang it!  IT WORKED!  Not every single time but especially with one of the most explosive and rough boys in the group IT WORKED.  Thank you Nancy Thomas!  Thank you Love and Logic!  He spent most of the group time trying to manipulate me with his anger and harsh words.  But the thing is, I knew it was a game!  I didn’t let it bother me and instead God continually filled my brain with ideas from both of the links above that I’ve used with the CA kids over the years.  I am so thankful that God knows this children inside and out.  I mean, hello, He created them.  Whew, I definitely need to be seeking Him more and more so that I can be a good vessel of His love to these kids.

I was thinking this morning how some of the older boys in our foundation now, who are doing quite well, used to be the “hardest” boys at Popesti when they were younger.  It gave me so much hope for the boys who fought us so much in their actions and words yesterday! 

God is Jehovah Rafa … He is the Healer.  I found an interesting post right now speaking about this.  Check it out HERE if you have 5 minutes to read!

First Tooth Lost! October 31, 2009

 

 

 

 

 

 

Caleb’s First Loose Tooth! October 24, 2009

Okay, I know I said that I would post pictures from the trip.  The thing is, Caleb had an amazingly exciting day and wanted to tell everyone himself!  So, enjoy the update from Caleb…  Click on Link Below.

P.S.  My son is growing up WAY TOO FAST!

Caleb’s First Loose Tooth!

I’m Back! October 22, 2009

Yup, I’m back home now.  It feels good to be home, that’s for sure.  Caleb is HAPPY (that’s a Praise!) and jetlag isn’t giving me too much trouble (another Praise!).  This was the last trip to the States that I’ll be making without Caleb.  (Unless there’s an emergency.)  Those of you reading this from the States – we’ll see you in about 2 years.  When I say “we” I mean Caleb and I.  Wow.  To think that there will be a day when I bring Caleb with me…

This trip…how do I put into words what happened?  I still am kind of reeling from all that God did during those 10 days.  It was so unexpected – everything.  Let me try to break it down.  Although, I’m warning you now, I am still trying to wrap my mind around all that He did so it may be a little confusing.  I’m going to try, though, to give you a glimpse into how God showed Himself during this time.  Let me tell you, it was in some pretty amazing ways.

1. Before leaving I asked God to open up conversations on airplanes.  Something I usually don’t enjoy doing but felt I should ask God to do this trip.  I know now why – but was I ever unprepared for how He wanted to work in these ways.  Each person I spoke with wanted to know about what was going on in Marghita, they encouraged me in what I was doing, and – in various ways – want to see how they could help.  Contact information was exchanged with 3 of the 5 individuals that I spoke with.

2.  I reunited with some dear friends of mine in Houston for a few hours during an overnight layover to San Antonio.  To worship and laugh with them…it had been 4 years since I had seen them.  So thankful this worked out!

3. Met up with my mission organization in Kerrville, TX.  After my pastoral care couple picked me up from the airport they let me tour the Alamo, eat a very yummy Bison Burger and then we headed off to their ranch.  The peace that enveloped their home and the beauty surrounding it did my heart some good.  Every worry and stress that seemed to build up over the past however many years left for a couple of days.  I met in person with each worker in the office of the organization and was so encouraged by their joy.  We laughed, cried and prayed together.  Praise God that I was finally able to go in person and meet everyone.  My pastoral care couple ended the time in Kerrville by praying for me which, ministered to me in more ways than I could put into words.

3. Headed off to Indy and then caught a ride to Bloomington.  Immediately I was met face to face with God’s work as she brought me to tears explaining how she prays for me and reads me up updates.  I had no idea she read the updates or prayed for me.  I was hit with God’s provisional, loving ways that I don’t even see…  this conversation was just the beginning of a 5 days journey of God revealing to me how loving He is.  I thought I was coming to Bloomington to update everyone there.  God had other plans…He wanted to update me on how His love works and moves and is real.  I spent the first night there with a family who has become a constant encouragement for me but I’ve never really had time together with.  I felt as if I had come ‘home’ when I was with me.  The next morning I headed over to my close friends, where I would also stay for the rest of my time in Bloomington.  To be with them – oh gosh – I just MISS THEM.    The blessings and encouragement didn’t stop but continued to pick up speed as the days went on.  I don’t think I’ve ever met with so many people to talk about Romania before.  And, I don’t think I’ve ever felt God’s presence and the leading of His Spirit so closely in sharing about all of that before.  Each day was packed full with meeting up with people and groups – I was exhausted, I’ll be honest.  But seeing God move hearts and change lives – mine and theirs – during these days was so worth it.  Highlights were definitely the dessert/coffee night for me to do a formal update, connecting so personally with an adult Sunday School class at my home church, singing with the worship team on Sunday morning, speaking to the kids during their Sunday school time, speaking at Connexion to the college students, the mission’s prayer time, unexpected friendships forming…  It wasn’t so much that I was speaking or sharing that floored me…it was feeling God so CLOSE and seeing Him move within all of these groups.  Oh gosh.   I still become speechless as I think back to how present His presence was.  Description doesn’t work – I just can’t do it justice.  Basically, God showed up – big time.  Oh, HIS LOVE!

4. Friends.  My dear friends in Bloomington who love me even when I don’t communicate well with them or remember their birthdays.  I was able to meet up with all of them and we enjoyed Puffballs, Grilled Cheese, Kroger Doughnuts, Ice Cream and Coffee as we reconnected and caught up.  Thank You, Lord…  And one very special friend who flew up from Florida to be my sidekick for the weekend.  Seeing her and having more than just a few hours with her – you know, there are just those people that God has so connected your heart to through His Spirit…

5. I know what is wrong with my left eye!  Since July I’ve had consistent burning, ripping pain in my left eye.  I tried different deals – contacts, no contacts etc… and nothing seemed to fix it.  I went to an eye doctor, who I knew from some years ago, and he finally figured out that I have an allergic reaction under my left eye lid.  The pictures online of  what I have are really gross so I’m not going to give you a link.  When I have my contact in, the allergic reaction is irritated by the contact= ripping, burning pain.  When I take the contact out the allergic reaction rubs on my eyeball = ripping, burning pain.  I now have the problem labeled and a solution.  God is awesome!

6. I met up with my Dad for breakfast and he arrived with brand-new pictures of a brand-new baby (born just the night before)…I am officially Aunt Kelsey.  Baby Dax is a big, healthy and beautiful boy.  Dad drove a few hours and I drove a couple of hours so that we could meet up and exchange hugs and Christmas gifts : )

6. My son isn’t angry.  We’re in Day 2 now and we haven’t hit any “war” yet.  A week before I left, that was war.  Unusual that it hit before I left.  While away I spoke to him on Skype and he was crying so hard he could barely speak : (  I wasn’t sure what to expect when I came back.  He ran into my arms and velcroed himself there as we told each other how much we missed each other.  It’s been fantastic yesterday and, so far, today as well.  This is a gift that I’m not sure I can explain just how grateful I am for…

How was this for a blog post?  Guess it makes up for not writing for so long…yikes!  Thanks to EVERYONE who made this trip possible on both the US and Romania sides!  I’ll post a link to pictures later, okay?

Caleb’s Cupcakes September 27, 2009

The carnival is in town this weekend.  It’s called Zilele Marghitei (Marghita’s Days).  This year the President even stopped by…how about that?  I think he’s campaigning or something.  Still, though, pretty big deal for a small town like Marghita.  Anyhow, there are always a few rides to go on and each of their “2 minute bliss” requires $2 per person.  It gets kind of pricey.  Especially if you have Alex and Nicoleta along as well.  So, Caleb made cupcakes and sold them to help towards the rides that he, Alex and Nicoleta would go on.  My team was awesome and all of the cupcakes were bought.  We charged 1 Lei each which, is about 30 US Cents.  I think they turned out pretty dang cute!

it IS possible… September 25, 2009

for me to have all of my dishes washed, and the sink to be empty.  And, yes, I DO have some pretty mad stacking skills!  Note, they are ALSO ALL now put away in their proper spots in my kitchen’s drawers and cupboards.  Although, that isn’t shown in the pictures.    Last weekend we took the kids to a movie in Oradea.  It was Caleb’s first movie and it was also in 3D, so a first for Mama as well!  The picture is from after the movie in the mall in Oradea, where the cinema is located.  Sunday, after church, we headed to a former Casa Alba staff worker’s home in a small village outside of Marghita.  She was making Zucusca over the fire when we arrived…yummmm….

 

Residency : Take 4.32 Thousand September 24, 2009

Honestly, it feels like that sometimes.  I mean, if we began counting back through the years with each attempt at Residency…it just “might” add up to 4.32 thousand times.

Yesterday Courtney and I headed in again to try and apply for permanent residency.  We had all of our papers in order and the woman who we work with said “bun” (good) many times over as she checked each of our files.  But then she noticed that our first visa was issued towards the end of November in 2004.  Technically we are 2 months away from our official “5 year” mark.  Meaning, that she didn’t let us apply yesterday.  She said for us to come back at the end of October so that no one can do anything BUT grant us residency.  I understand her reasoning and am totally fine with it.  What slightly – ever so slightly – frustrates me about the situation is that each and every time that I, or anyone else for that matter, has gone in to meet with this woman she has told them a different story.  For instance, Courtney went in last spring and this same woman, who told us 2 months before was too early to apply, told her that she could apply SIX months early no problem.  I kind of laughed a bit inside when she said we couldn’t apply yesterday.  Kind of like, well ma’am at least you are consistent in never saying the same thing : )  Regardless, one more month more after 4 1/2 years of trying isn’t a big deal at all.  I’m at peace with the situation and know that God’s hand has been in this and in control from the moment I laid eyes on this precious little boy . . .

A moment to breathe September 17, 2009

or a moment to do dishes hasn’t been possible for some weeks now.  I don’t think there has been a time here, since I moved to Marghita, where I have felt so overwhelmed and busy.  So many changes have taken place…closing of Casa Alba, moving the remaining children into their new, group-family home, adjusting to Alex with us Friday through Monday mornings, preparing Caleb for this year of kindegarten, switching Alex’s kindergarten and pulling together all of the documents required to do so, finishing papers to apply for Residency and the trips to Oradea ( over an hour each way ) in order to accomplish that, waking up an hour earlier (both Caleb and Mom) because school has started, and,  to get to the new family home to walk Alex to kindergarten each morning, figuring out new ministry at Popesti Orphanage, driving 3 hours each way to go to the Dentist…so MUCH.  And, it’s in and out in and out at the new group/family home covering shifts, cooking food, cleaning.  And not to forget the group of 38 visitors arriving Monday that I have a bunch of responsability with.  I just feel like I’m RUNNING every which way and I don’t know when it’s going to stop.  And then, there’s Caleb.  My little one who’s probably wondering where his Mama has gone these weeks…my head is everywhere!  Oh yeah, there’s the trip in October as well to the States.  Much to plan for that as well.  And the handwritten notes to all of my financial sponsors…hmmmm…only about 10 got sent out so far and I started that back in JUNE!  Last, but not least, there’s my poor kitchen sink.  The burden that it has endured over the past few weeks is one that kitchen sinks should never be subjected to.  Poor kitchen sink of mine.  I put on some Rascal Flatts yesterday and it made digging into that piles of dishes so much nicer!

I”ve just been praying constantly through the days.  My patience, and temper, have been so short and easily set off…literally every tiny issue with any of the kids I’m having to stop and pray because of how tired these weeks have made me.  Uggghh.  I’m thankful that we have a God who allows us to come to Him with all sized, and momentary burdens through His Son, Jesus. 

This morning a visiting group from Sweden had a time of prayer for anyone who wanted to come and join.  I arrived late because I needed to take Alex and Caleb to kindergarten first.  A bit after I arrived one of the women asked if those of us who live here would want to sit in the middle and they would lay hands on us.  Just 4 of us were there, in addition to their team, and it was such a sweet time of prayer.  The hands that were on my shoulders poured such peace into my spirit that I couldn’t stop crying.  I am so thankful for their ministry to me, and the others that were there, this morning!

Hopefully this will all settle down soon.  I’m thinking that once I get into a schedule it will become a whole heck of a lot easier.  Here are some pictures though of some moments of smiles from within all of the craziness since  I last posted : ) 

Alex's new haircut!

Nicoleta enjoying pancakes at my apartment!

Antal, on right, turned 7 years old!!

I can't believe I'm posting this...Kels in the Bob the Builder relay at Antal's birthday!

                                       

                            

 

Alex loved helping me make pumpkin muffins last weekend!

 

Caleb worked with Nicoleta on his favorite puzzle last weekend!

 

I squeezed in some time with baby Norbert at the hospital last Saturday!

Caleb's first time in a dentist chair. Notice the haircut he gave himself the other night? : )

Early in the morning, leaving for the mountain city of Cluj to head to the dentist.

i need more September 8, 2009

I need more of Jesus.  I really am nothing, honestly.  I can’t fix, heal or make better.  I can’t stop the wrong and make people see truth.  I can’t stop the pain, hurt and injustice. 

Monday was my first trip to the state orphange.  I’ve been there before but never as someone on that specific team that serves there.  I knew before I went what goes on there.  I thought I knew enough to be able to “deal with it.”  You know what I know now?  When you’re just visiting, see them about every so often, or only hear about the stories…it’s so much easier to deal with it.  You can push it to the side and because you’re not there on a regular basis your heart doesn’t have to be in 100%. 

i wept when i came home.  i cried out over the pain, oh the pain, that my heart felt after just that first visit.  anger over the wrong choices that others made for them when they were young that have destroyed how they make choices now.  and the ache in knowing that this is just a taste of their daily existance, what i’m feeling right now.

oh Jesus.  i need more of You.  i cannot do this.  You can though – You can.

Psalm 46 . . . an EVER PRESENT help in times of trouble.  isn’t that beautifully put?  an ever present….  Jesus, I need that.  I need more of You and less of me in order to love these kids the way that You desire them to be loved.  I believe He can do miracles there, I really do.  I believe He can transform these hurting – hurting lives.  But I’m telling you all right now that it hurts to do that.  I thought when I came back Monday night how  much easier it would be to not go.  To stay in their lives the way I have for 5 years now…at a distance.  A distance is so much easier.  Getting close means getting close to their pain and hurt…  That’s hard.  It would be so much easier to not go.  To pray and “feel” at a distance.  But that’s not what God has led me to do just now.  I need more of Jesus.  Iwant my heart to beat in time with His for these kids.  I want my eyes to see them with what He has called them to be, even if they are not yet.  And, most of all…

For them to know their Jesus and allow Him to transform their lives with His redeeming love.

Can you just imagine?

PS.  The papers are found.  About 15 minutes after I cried out for help.  Thank you all . . .

Please pray…help! September 5, 2009

Okay, here’s the deal everyone.  I am asking you to pray with and for me…please.  Yesterday I pulled out all of the documents that I need to re-apply for residency (hopefully the 1st of october.)  I’ve been saving them carefully since February because all of the documents are still valid (date-wise) so I won’t need to re-do them.  But still, I wanted to get a head start of checking them over etc…  Praise God that I did because THEY ARE ALL MISSING.  The folder that I put them in has copies of the originals but the ORIGINALS ARE GONE.  They were in a seperate folder in the binder that I put them in and that binder isn’t there anymore.  I just wanted to cry, I mean COME ON.  Of course, right, after 4 and a half years of trying to get residency I finally CAN and now my papers are missing.  I didn’t have time to search further because I had to run to an overnight shift at Casa Alba.  When that ended this morning Alex came home with Caleb and I so my mind has been a little occupied.  But, I think, that’s created even more stress because I don’t have the time to look and the chance that they might really be lost for good is just…oh…yeah, i’m freakin’ out a little bit.  Would you please, please pray that I would find these documents?  Many of you know the battle with this process since 2004…  I am so grateful to know that you are by my side fighting through prayer; I couldn’t continue on without you.  much love.